We Added My Cycle to Our Monthly Planning – Here’s why you should do it too

Most couples plan their finances, chores, and appointments, but almost no one plans for the natural rhythm women move through each month.

For years, I treated my cycle as something to power through. 

As I grew older, I learned about the ebb and flow of my hormones and began incorporating nourishing practices that support my natural rhythm.

So when I met my husband, I wanted him to be aware of these monthly changes too.

I gave him a five-minute explanation of the four phases of the cycle (Menstrual, Follicular, Ovulatory, and Luteal), sent him screenshots from my tracking app, and that was that.

But the truth is that I only sent him a list of facts that didn’t tell him how these phases showed up in real time.

Or how they could affect our relationship day to day.

Our Google Calendar System — and the Mystery We Kept Running Into

We love planning out our weeks in Google Calendar. 

We schedule time with family and friends, birthdays, appointments, bill payments, and even weekend plans.

Here is how it helps us stay organized: 

1. We can see what’s coming up, so we avoid last-minute stressful rushes

2. We divide the chores we share for the week.

But over time, we noticed something wasn’t quite right. 

Our little system worked beautifully for some weeks, then completely fell apart on others — even though we were doing the same things. 

We kept looking at each other, wondering, What changed? What were we missing?

So I began looking at our “good weeks” and “off weeks” more closely. That’s when I noticed something I had totally overlooked…

The Hidden Reason Our Routine Fell Apart Every Month

One day, I would be moving through my chores in the upbeat way I usually do, and the next, everything would shift. 

I’d wake up already feeling tired, dragging my feet out of bed, and slowly making breakfast. 

Then I’d look at the sink full of dishes, knowing I should clean them, but instead I’d wrap myself in a blanket and collapse on the couch with a snack.

When this happened, it threw off our plans. I’d drop the ball on something I was supposed to do and ask my husband to step in at the last minute, right when he was exhausted himself.

You can imagine the aftermath: ordering takeout instead of cooking a nutritious meal (we really value those), dishes piling up, and both of us feeling totally off rhythm.

Then, I noticed that our “off weeks” always fell during my Luteal phase when I’m irritable, low-energy, and running on a short fuse, leading right into the first day of my period.

On a deeper level, I realized that I had been navigating these cycle changes on my own when I was single, but talking about it in my marriage felt like a breakthrough moment.

“Wait… we can actually discuss this? I don’t have to manage this alone? I can ask for help? I don’t have to manage this alone? I can ask for help?” 

Turning Awareness Into Action

The beautiful thing is that my husband never minds stepping in on the days when I’m running low. 

What matters for him is being prepared. When he knows what’s coming, he can adjust his own load and show up for me with so much more ease and calm.

This became a core principle in our marriage: when one of us is functioning at 20%, the other fills in the missing 30%. We’re a team, and our goal is to keep our rhythm steady, not perfect.

So now we plan my cycle the same way we plan everything else — in our Google Calendar.

Rewriting the Story: How We Normalize Periods in Our Home

Growing up, a period wasn’t considered a valid reason to slow down. 

You were expected to keep the same pace and pretend nothing was happening, even when your body was clearly asking for rest. 

So I made a decision: I didn’t want that old story to be the story in our home.

I wanted our household culture to be one where:

• A woman’s cycle is respected

• Rest is not seen as a weakness

• Support is normal

• Open conversations about energy levels, emotions, and needs are simply part of being a team

What started as a practical solution, adding my cycle to our shared calendar, slowly became a new foundation for how we support each other. There’s no shame, no stigma, no tiptoeing around it. 

Just honesty, compassion, and the understanding that I’m a cyclical being… and that’s not an inconvenience. It’s simply part of who I am.

Knowing that I was understood and seen in such a raw and honest way brought a deeper sense of partnership and love between us.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Cycle, with expert guidance from a Women’s Health and Hormone Coach, Kristal Godin

To deepen this conversation, I invited Kristal Godin, a Women’s Wellness & Hormone Coach, to share her expert insight. Kristal supports women in understanding their hormones and communicating their needs more clearly, so I asked her a few key questions to help you have the most effective conversation with your partner.

In simple terms, how would you describe the four phases of the menstrual cycle and the emotional or energetic shifts women commonly experience?

A woman’s menstrual cycle follows a 28ish-day rhythm, similar to the moon. Her energy and emotions ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean. Traditionally, we talk about four phases — menstruation, follicular, ovulation, and luteal — but to make it even simpler, I like to group them into two main phases: the follicular phase and the luteal phase, since menstruation and ovulation both occur within the follicular phase.

From day 1 of her bleed up until ovulation, she’s in her follicular phase. This is when energy rises. Ideas, creativity, confidence, and magnetism all start building and peak around ovulation because, biologically, her body is preparing for conception.

After ovulation, she moves into her luteal phase. This is where energy naturally starts to decline and her focus turns inward. Late luteal often brings lower energy and more sensitivity. If she experiences PMS, this is her body’s way of reminding her to Prioritize My Self.

How can couples normalize conversations about hormones and energy without shame or awkwardness?

If you feel shame or awkwardness toward your own menstrual cycle, I’d invite you to get curious about where that feeling stems from.

Many of us grew up tucking menstrual products up our sleeves and pushing through pain with Midol PMS (at least that’s what I did). Bleeding was internalized as being dirty, shameful, or embarrassing for many of us, so of course, talking about it doesn’t come naturally. I feel you.

The key to changing this is learning about how freaking awesome your body truly is. When you feel empowered, you naturally show up to the conversation with more confidence. So I’d invite you to learn about the superpowers and gifts of each phase (yes, each phase has them!) so that you can begin to flip the script on the shame.

You are a cyclical human being, and once you begin honoring that, you’ll feel more empowered, and communicating where you’re at with your partner will come much more easily. And once you’re comfortable with your cycle, your partner will take your lead.

How can couples create a shared understanding or “language” around hormonal shifts?

Each couple is different, so the key is getting on the same page and creating your shared understanding and language together.

This can take some practice since your partner can’t read your mind, probably hasn’t read all the same books or listened to all the same podcasts you have, and he most certainly doesn’t know what it feels like to shed a uterine lining each month. So whatever you choose, keep it simple, stay consistent and check in with each other on the regular.

Some couples use daily check-ins, others use color-coding or emojis on a shared calendar.

You don’t need a complicated system, but whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that works for both of you.

What do you wish more men understood about the Luteal phase specifically?

I wish that both men and women understood that women are not meant to show up in the same way every single day. This means that some of the things she was doing in her follicular phase won’t feel the same or have the same effect on her other hormones as she moves into her luteal phase. She’s actually more sensitive to cortisol in her luteal phase so it's important to be mindful of anything that might add extra stress to her body. This can include high-intensity workouts, fasting, cold-plunges at the spa, moving, o even traveling.

Also, as women start to understand their cycle and lean into slowing down the pace of life in her luteal phase, it doesn’t mean she’s getting less done, it just means she’s operating on a different timeline. The luteal phase is actually a really powerful time to tie up loose ends on projects, to organize, tidy and create order. There is a misconception here that if women slow down, nothing is getting done, but that’s simply not true. 

How can a couple work together to navigate the lower-energy days of the cycle with more compassion and teamwork?

It’s all about communication. If a woman is tracking her cycle and her energy levels, and communicating them with her partner, they will then be able to navigate lower energy days more intentionally, with lighter plans, more spacious evenings, or extra help with daily tasks when needed.

What are some practical ways a partner can support a woman during the Luteal and Menstrual phases?

As a woman heads into her luteal phase, particularly the late luteal phase, she might not be as bubbly and social as she was in her follicular phase. This would be a great time to be mindful of social events you’re both adding to the shared calendar. Of course, we can’t defer everything, but a helpful counterbalance here might be the partner taking on more of the planning around date nights in these phases and suggesting more low-key dates, or even dates that don’t require leaving the house. Think rose petals in a warm bath with candles and a nice herbal tea (ideally, skip the alcohol in these phases because it can worsen PMS).

Prioritize warmth through clothing, tea, and nourishing foods to keep her uterus warm (and prevent additional cramps). Another thing to consider in these phases would be checking in to see which tasks you can take off her plate, and if you’re cooking a healthy meal, make extra so she can have a quick and healthy hormone-supportive lunch to reheat at work the next day. Bonus points if you get her some good quality dark chocolate (80% or higher) and pumpkin seeds to snack on. The magnesium will be helpful to ward off cramps.

And whether you’re staying in or going out, I’d do everything I can to make sure she’s in bed by a reasonable hour in order for her to prioritize 7-9 hours of good quality sleep. Women need, on average, 1 hour more sleep in the luteal and menstrual phases.

What small habits or systems can help couples respect and align with a woman’s natural rhythm?

Some menstrual cycle tracking apps allow women to add their partner, so this makes it super helpful to keep both parties aware of what phase she's in. If this is not an option, some couples like to use a calendar (this could be paper or digital) that you color code according to the woman’s phases and/or annotate with her energy level each day. As mentioned earlier, finding that shared language to communicate with each other will be key here. And lastly, with the events that you do have control over, look at planning them more strategically when the woman is in her mid to late follicular phase and leaving more space in the calendar in the late luteal or menstrual phases of her cycle. 

What’s one thing a woman can start doing this week to feel more supported around her cycle?

The first thing I’d recommend is tracking your cycle. This is essential to start building any kind of awareness around where you’re at in your cycle and how you’re feeling. After that, I’d suggest tapping into how you are feeling each day. Just take a moment to breathe, tune in and ask yourself, “how do I feel and how can I honor that, even if only by 1%?” It is in these micro shifts where magic happens. Do not underestimate the power of these small actions done consistently. 

How do you help women, and where can they connect with you for additional support?

A lot of the support I offer to women is inside the Happy Hormone Collective, which is a monthly membership designed to help women feel empowered, educated, and supported on their hormonal health journey. Inside, we offer monthly workshops and Q&A sessions, guest expert sessions, a growing resource library, and a community of women committed to supporting their health and wellbeing. 

In addition to the Collective, I also host in-person workshops in Montreal and Ottawa, and I support women 1-on-1 (Naturotherapy insurance receipts are available for these sessions). You can access all my offerings on my website: kristalgodin.com

Understanding Your Natural Rhythm Brings You Closer as a Couple

My biggest takeaway from this experience is that honouring my cycle – and the discomfort that comes with it – wasn’t something I just had to “deal with”.

It became an opportunity to deepen my marriage and create a home where I feel supported, understood, and cared for.

Remember, your cycle is not an inconvenience: it’s information. 

And when you treat it that way, free of stigma or shame, you create space to be held and supported in a way that actually makes a difference and brings you and your partner closer together as you navigate through life together.

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